She was standing in line at Costco. Next to two people I took to be her parents. Perhaps in her thirties. Pretty. But obviously feeling very awkward. Shifting from foot to foot. Taking her hands out of her pockets, then putting them back in. She had burn scars everywhere–her face, her arms, her neck. Some kind of shiny salve ringed her lovely blue eyes. The fingers on her right hand, I noticed on one trip out of her pocket, were stubs, burned off down to the middle joint.

I guessed it was her first “public appearance” since the fire. It seemed obvious she worried about the reception she would receive.

She put her one item on the conveyor belt. The cashier would ring up it up next.

I was in line right behind her. I always strike up conversations with people in line with me at `the club.’ What should I say, if anything?

An untoward remark would only add to her already significant burden. Ignoring her might verify that her burns made her a social outcast. I wanted to somehow be a blessing, but I wasn’t sure how to pull it off.

So my glib self took over. As I put my single item–a bag of coffee beans–on the conveyor belt, I laughed and said something about neither she nor I being very bright coming to Costco on a Saturday for just one thing–and a pretty minor thing at that.

It turned out to be exactly the right thing to say, and she rewarded me with a happy, lovely smile.

I didn’t force her to talk about her experience. I didn’t express pity. I cheerfully insulted her, as if she were a regular person. Which, of course, she was. She had only hoped others would see that.

We exchanged just a few sentences. From the corner of my eye, I could see her parents holding on to each other, beaming. Their little girl’s “debut” was a success.

A few sentences. A moment or two. And it made a difference.

Sometimes it’s so easy. Even when we work overtime to make it seem hard.


About the author: Bette Dowdell is a speaker, author, former IBM Systems Engineer, a small business consultant and software company owner. She writes and speaks about two things: Maximizing Life and Maximizing Health. Check it out at http://BetteDowdell.com

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